"some of the greatest battles will be fought within the silent chambers of your own soul"
YES .... TRUE STORY .... HAPPENING NOW ....
I have not always been open about "ED" and for a LONG time I had this constant battle going on about weight and worth. It wasn't until I started to get it out that I discovered a few things:
(1) I am not alone - many people have similar battles as I do.
(2) I have an amazing support system.
(3) Sometimes what is in my head is not the reality I live in.
(4) Sometimes things trigger and I can't help but to give in a little.
TRUTH ... Just because I have learned the four things above does not mean it is cut and dry.
Common sense would tell you that since I know these things, it should be easy to identify and move on. That is not the truth. The truth is my mind is messed up!! The truth is I am struggling. Probably the dumbest thing I have done in a long time is consider eating a tapeworm to lose weight. Really Chevie??? I know, to say that I am struggling is an understatement. Of course, I did not eat a tapeworm nor do I plan on it, but the thought did enter my mind.
Losing weight will not solve my issues ~~ Losing weight will not get my mind straight.
I understand that "ED" is semi in charge of my thoughts right now, which means it is also semi in charge of my life. For the first time in a long time, I can not open up and share with the person that I love the most. All I can do is cry and all I can say is "My mind is messed up right now." As you can imagine that can not be a good feeling for anyone, it can not be a good thing to hear. Nevertheless, this is where I am at right now.
I know that this battle will not last forever and I know that my mind and thoughts will straighten out. Once again my soul will be quiet and free.
<3 always always