This is a picture of my four amazingly wonderful kids and I. We had family pictures done the in December and this one is my favorite. We had the best time that day, however, when we put on the clown noses, our day got even brighter. We had the most amazing time laughing with each other. The noses brought out a happier, funnier, more remarkable side of each of us. No matter what kind of mood I am in, this picture makes me smile. I have it framed at work and at home in a couple of places. I even have a copy of it on my phone. When I look at this picture it brings me back to that day and I see complete joy and happiness. I see a family that is eating disorder free. J
Today, I have really been looking at how blessed I am. I am truly thankful everyday for the awesome people in my life, but the Lord gave me four beautiful children. Each one of them are unique and clever and just wonderful in their own special way. Each one of them know the buttons to push and an each one of them know me better then I know myself. My little one will always warm me up a sausage biscuit in the morning when he is warming his up. I do not want one every morning, but without fail he does it and brings it to me. Some mornings I feel like he knows I need to eat. The other two boys are so great to tell me that I do not need to be on a diet or workout. They are so sweet to me. Then, there is Clowey. I am already so worried that I will pass on my bad ED habits to her. She is just like me and yet I want her to be nothing like me. I want my kids to have confidence in who they are. To be leaders and not followers and to have strength in their faith to know that even when they feel like they are walking alone they are truly walking with Him. I want my cycle of eating disordered living to end with me. These kids are my heart ~ these kids are the reason I breathe every day. They deserve a life free of it.
Sometimes you need a little silly in your life. No matter what is going on, what you are feeling, what your mind is telling you – put on your clown noses and laugh. Wear the noses with pride and let yourself for a few moments be happy.
We all look better with clown noses and smiles on :)