Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Only God Can .....

I love this!!!!  :)

This is so true and at the same time this gives me hope for recovery. 

Only God can turn a MESS into a MESSAGE ~ Right now I feel like my life is a mess.  Not all of it, I have a great mom, wonderful kids, a job I love, but I feel like the skin I am in is all wrong.  I feel like my appearance is ugly and fat.  I feel like I have been less selective on what I have choose to eat, which makes me feel like I have gained 10 pounds.  I just feel heavy and weighed down.  On the positive side, I have been in a worse place and I am working on my message.  My message  ... of hope, of love, of understanding, of fight.  Every day that I live with ED is a day that get to share my message.  As long as I am sharing my message, I am alive. 

Only God can turn a TEST into a TESTIMONY  ~ Living with an eating disorder has been the biggest test in my life.  There are days that I feel like I am failing at this test.  However, I have complete faith that one day this test will be my testimony.  A testimony of hope, of love, of understanding, of fight.  Every day that I live with ED will only make my testimony stronger. 

Only God can turn a TRIAL into a TRIUMPH ~ Finding recovery is a huge trail.  I want it so badly.  I want to know what it is like to go eat and not have the thought of calories in my mind.  I want to eat dessert and LOVE it.  I want to LOVE myself.   But, in the midst of all of this I know in my heart when I do reach recovery, this will be the most amazing triumph in my life.  Every day that I live with ED, I will fight for recovery.   A triumph, of hope, of love, of understand, of fight.  I will fight because I deserve a triumph in my life. 

Only God can turn a VICTIM into a VICTORY ~  I am a victim of this horrible disorder.  I wake up a victim; I go to asleep a victim.  The people in my life that love me are victims.  My kids are victims.  This disease touches everyone around you.  It takes things away from you.  This disease consumes your thoughts and drowns out all that is good.  I am tired of being a victim.  I am ready to turn this into a victory.  A victory of hope, of love, of understanding, of fight.  I will celebrate my victory when I no longer live everyday with ED. 

I am ready to share my message of my life with an eating disorder in my testimony of triumph and victory.  I know that I will ~ I will because God has a plan for me.  :)


  1. You are so right :) Keep fighting and always remember this :)

  2. keep fighting, so many believe in you, and though some days it seems so hopeless, and you can not face another day. Each day you get stronger if you keep your eyes on GOd, as I have read in your blogs. He wants you to conquer through this. It is going to be a dailly battle till you and God and those you rely on here on earth, fight through. Each day getting stronger to tell the thoughts NO, I am more than this. I love the song "someone worth dying for" written by mikes chair. (Chorus)
    You're worth it, you can't earn it
    Yeah the Cross has proven
    That you're sacred and blameless
    Your life has purpose

    You are more than flesh and bone
    Can't you see you're something beautiful
    Yeah you gotta believe, you gotta believe
    He wants you to see, He wants you to see
    That you're not just some wandering soul
    That can't be seen and can't be known
    Yeah you gotta believe, you gotta believe that you
    Are someone worth dying for"

    I am love this song because as one that am recovering as well from this ED, we have to remember that God sees us, He loves us, He sees the purpose in us, he sees more than the flesh and bones. He sees the beautiful child that he created in the inner most parts. Keep fighting this earthly fight,because God is going to bless you for it. He sees your efforts and LOVES you like crazy. thank you for being so honest on your blog.