Here we are all at the start of a new year, and this is the time that everyone makes goals or resolutions. Everyone reflects on the year that just past and decides to make changes based how they felt the year went. I too, am doing that. I spent the first few days of the year letting go of the things and people that hurt me so that I have room for the new things and people. The first few days I did a lot of crying and thinking and tons of soul searching and praying and at the end of the day I came out a better person, a person with less stress and worry. I cannot continue to let people weighed me down and I refuse to spend one more precious moment on the wrong people. I have a lot to live for and I am going to do it.
This is so true ~ life is short ~ so these are my goals .....
Break the rules:
I do struggle everyday with an eating disorder, however I have set my mind to find recovery. I will "break the rules" that this dieses has set for me. I will learn to accept who I am and what I look like. I know that this may be the hardest thing in my life to accomplish, but I am taking the step of courage.... I am looking recovery straight the eye and I am taking back what is mine and what is mine is, my peace and my spirit. I will fight this fight everyday and I promise myself that the scale will no longer determine my worth. :)
If there is one thing that I have learned in 2011, it is this ... holding on to hate and fear will tear you down. People are not perfect and things are said out of anger, things are done out of lack of judgment, feeling are hurt by accident ~ forgive ~ move past it ~ we cannot go back in time and change our path, we all wish we could but the reality is we cannot. We all have to keep moving forward on our own path, which may lead me away from people that I hold dear, however that same path will lead me to new people and I am ready for that. I refuse to spend any more time in fear and anger. I do not want to waste my time waiting, stuck in this place of resentment. :)
Relationships, I have learned in 2011 are hard, frustrating, stressful, but yet rewarding and giving. My wish for 2012, is this, I kiss slowly ~ with passion and with faith and understanding. I want to kiss with hope ~ hope that things will be great ~ hope that LOVE will be enough. :)
There are a handful of things that I feel people love unconditionally and truly and for me it is my four wonderful kids and my God. There are times that things are crazy - but in the calm I look back at the crazies and smile. Keaton, Bailey, Clowey and Kennedy are some of the best things in my life. They make me smile when I feel like nothing is worth smiling at, the make me laugh when all I want to do is be sad, they make my heart over flow. Being their mom is the greatest gift I have been given. I am lucky and privileged to love them. :)
I have some of the greatest people in my life and I can’t wait to see what 2012 brings to us. We have already made so many memories, we have laughed until we cried, and shared countless hugs to last a lifetime, but this year my girls and I will laugh uncontrollably. We will make crafts, we will smile at "duckers", we will sit on floors, we will do school projects, we will support each other’s kids, we will "friend check" each other, we will share silly pictures, we will road trip, and we ALWAYS answer the phone. True friendship is a gift I will not take for granted. :)
Never Regret Anything That Made You Smile
My hope is that this time next year, I look back on 2012 and have very very few regrets. I am starting out this year as a woman on a mission and my mission is to smile ~ love ~ laugh ~ and be thankful for all the many many blessings I have. I have wonderful kids - fantastic family - a job I love - friends that are amazing - a gracious Lord who loves me - living 2012 without regret should be a walk in the park. :)