Sunday, December 11, 2011

Love is LOUDER

Ok ..... I know that this picture is harsh to look at.  I know that is will offend people, however this is the best example of what is in my head.  Right now I look at myself in the mirror and all I see is fat rolls and imperfections.  If I look at myself without clothes on it is almost unbearable.   Everytime I look at myself I find something different that I hate.  I know that hate is a strong word, however I HATE the way my body looks.  Someone once said, "Chevie, you do not have a REAL problem.  Just eat." It sounds so simple ... just eat.  I can eat.  I do eat.  It is after I eat that I feel horrible.  I know that what my eyes see in the mirror is not what everyone else sees.  I know that I am a horrible judge when it comes to body image.  However, just because I know that I am a poor judge does not mean that I can control it.   

The voice in my mirror is loud, some days out of control, some days it is so loud that I want to break the mirror. 

Thank goodness this is true in my life.  Love is loud.  The amount of love that my support system shows me is amazing. I may not always be able to hear it louder the the voice in the mirror but that is ok. It is ok because when I struggle they will yell their love for me. :)  

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