Thursday, November 17, 2011

Love has been on my mind for a little while.  The definition of  LOVE is (1) a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. (2) a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend. (3) sexual passion or desire. (4) a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart. I understand the words of the definition, but what it does not cover is the feelings.  The feelings of joy, excitement, pain, and heartache.  What the definition does not give you is an instruction manual.  A guide from your heart to whoever else's heart.  At this point I would settle for a tight rope with no safety net from my heart to a few other hearts.  At least then I would know for sure that we are connected. 

I guess based on past relationships, not just romantic relationships ... relationships in general (lovers, friends, family), my question is .. is LOVE enough?  Is it enough to over look all the hurtful things, to get by all the jealousy, to move forward from past relationships, to believe again in the people, to close your ears to the outside world, to shut your eyes and just allow yourself to fall.  Is LOVE enough to allow you to do all those things and still have faith that you are making the right decision? My fear is .... pain and rejection.  There is a quote, "Your heart will be broken, you just have to decide if the person breaking it is worth it." For me, every person is worth it, but that does not ease the blow.  It does not hold me at night when I am crying and it will not hold my hand when I need a friend. 

I saw this picture and it made me think .....

I thought that I wanted a "love story", a "happy ever after" but really I want something true and real.  If I can have something true and real along with my "love story" then that would be great.  But more importantly, I want relationships with people that work for us.  Rules that we make up.  Rules that may not be ok with everyone but are great for us.  I think most relationships already have that, people do their own thing but yet when you do something that is not ok with them, they judge.  They judge you if your friendships are different .... they judge you if your romance is different.  In the end, does it matter what they have as long as I am happy with what I have? It does not matter what their rules are as long as my rules are a fit for me. 

I believe in love.... I believe that I want my love to be multi - colored... just like the picture ~ beautiful ~ no rules ~ I do love with all my soul - with every breath ...  it may not always come across that way, but I do.  You may not be in my life right this moment, but I love you too.  We may be upset with each other, but I love you still. 

"Life is not about finding perfect people, it is about finding the people that are perfect for you."

Make you own rules ~ and dare to live by them :)

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