Monday, November 14, 2011

My Fingers

This is exactly how I feel today...  This is just perfect!

Where to start .... lets see... the pointer finger: to pick out my dearest family members :) My mother is my ROCK!! She is supportive and loving.  She always helps when she is needed.  She make me laugh.  She was my very first friend and I will love her to the end.  My step dad Vini, who has never said that I am his "step" daughter.  I am his daughter and he loves me everyday!  My brother Chase, who has a blunt way of saying things, but yet I have never doubted his care for me.  Keaton, Bailey, Clowey, and Kennedy ... my four awesome, wonderful kids.  They are the reason I breath.  They are complete joy in heart.   :)

My little finger .... for my best friends and the promises I will never break.  I can count on one hand my best friends.  I have a group of wonderful girls!! Connie, Amy, Betsy, and Holly, but there are two that make me a better person.... Juli - my soul mate.  Hate and lies brought us together, but truth and love keep us close.  She knows exactly what I am saying when I do not even know what I am saying.  She ALWAYS knows what to say to me... "it will be ok" or "FUCK him Chevie" ... no matter what it may be it is perfect at the time.  I "lobe" her. Jennifer - my light.  She has ALWAYS been so easy to talk to.  She ALWAYS understands and forgives.  Her heart amazes me. Her ability to take control of an situation makes me admire her.  Her courage is comforting to me.  I am lucky to have them in my life. 

My middle finger ... for those bitches who push me too far.... This is a difficult one. Some of the people this finger is for have been my close friends at times, even family members.  Friends that I thought would never be the people they are today.  I know that I contributed to the down fall of our relationship and I know,  I am not perfect but neither are they.  I have decided that there is no longer room in my life for people who are petty and selfish.  People who are hateful and mean.  People who feel the need to put someone down to make themselves look better.  I have learned there are THREE sides to every story (your side, my side and the truth).  This is when you see who is real and true in your life... if they care enough to try to see the truth first, they are worth keeping.  If they only see their side and talk behind your back, then they are garbage and need to be discarded. 

My ring finger .... for that special guy when the time is right.  I have so longed for a special guy at the right time.  I want a love story.  A happy ever after.   A guy who opens the car door.  A guy who loves me when I cry.  A guy who watches me while I sleep and laughs with me when I am completely silly.  A good guy... a guy who tells me I am beautiful and really means it.  I guy to take my breath away ----- to sweep me off my feet.   A guy to have fun with.  A guy to give me a moment everyday, a moment that makes me fall in love with them all over again.  I have learned that you  have to go through heartache to know what happiness really feels like. 

And my thumb ... to show the world that I am going to be ok.  I will be ok. I will be ok because I have love in my pointer finger. I will be ok because I have faith and strength in my pinkie finger.  I will be ok because I have hope and future in my ring finger, and I will be ok in spite of my middle finger. 

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