Thursday, November 10, 2011

The Simple Things are Making Me Happy :)

I am an over thinker.  I cant help it.  I can take something very little and think it to death.  It does nothing but make me worry and cause me stress.  I have major decisions to make with Bailey's health and I am so nervous.  Am I a good enough mother to make such serious decisions?  I do not have a medical degree, so why do they say you need to consider.  I can consider all day long and at the end of the day I am still not going to have an idea of what I should do.  Why cant they just say this is what we need to do and go with it? I really hate the drive home from the doctors office.  Bailey is asleep in the back seat and I am crying in the front seat. 

However, today I took the kids to McDonald's and we played for three hours.  We laughed and fought.  We played and cried.   I also forgot that there is something wrong with Bailey and for a little while my mind was completely at ease.  For those three hours I had a normal (as much as he can be) son.  I am completely thankful for tonight.  For the company we had to laugh with.  For the outstanding game of kick ball we played.  TEAM HAPPY ROCKS!!! For the memories that were made!! 

I love my child, I love that he is brave.  I love that he is still innocent and little,but yet smart enough to take care of himself and grown enough to take a responsible role in this whole thing.  I pray for him.  Please Lord, hold him close.  Let him live his life. I pray for me too.  Please Lord, hold my hand and give me the strength to be strong for him.  Give me the knowledge to take him down the right paths.  I know that God has a plan for both Bailey and I.  I believe in that plan.  I may not know what the end will look like but I know when we get there, it will be right where we need to be.  So in the mean time, I will try to enjoy more of the simple small moments more and worry a little less about things that are ultimately not in my hands. 

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